Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Way Our Dogs Love Us

I was doing my bible reading this morning and an idea popped into my head. What if God wants us to love and trust Him like our dogs love and trust us? Stick with me here, I do have a purpose. Our dogs rely solely on us for everything they need to survive and thrive. We feed them, give them water, take them for walks, play with them and love them. Whatever they need, they are totally dependent on us to provide it for them. They never seem to question that arrangement. It is what it is. I think maybe God wants us to have that kind of relationship with Him. To be totally dependent on Him for everything in our lives. How many of us can say that we are? Truly are? I did something last week that sort of challenged this idea of total dependence...and I am not exactly proud of it, either. I took my truck into the dealer to get some work done before I made the trip to Florida for the wedding. Nothing too bad, just my check engine light had been on and I wanted to see what was up. While it was being worked on, I took the twins to the mall and got some wedding clothes for us. We had just finished eating lunch when hubby called and told me to talk to this certain salesman about a new truck. I told him he was nuts and that I didn't need a new truck. Well, hubby likes to spoil me a bit so he had the salesman pick me up at the a new truck! It was nice. Real nice. But I drive a Suburban (have for many years) and this was a Tahoe. I didn't really want to get anything smaller than what I have because we don't exactly travel light when we go anywhere! I told the salesman no. Following God on that one. Hubby and I have talked many times about the fact that the next time we needed a vehicle, we would buy used and pay cash. Then I did the dumbest thing I could have ever done. I asked to see the Suburban that hubby had told me about (before the Tahoe) just to see what it was like. It was perfect. And beautiful. And everything I could have ever wanted in a truck. It had every single option that Chevy offers except 4WD. It even had a sunroof. I have never had a truck with all these options. I don't know what came over me but I had to have this truck. I allowed Satan to just jump right in there and take over. I talked to hubby and he said if I wanted the truck then we would get it. WHAT???? It isn't used!!! We sure as heck can't pay cash for it!!!! But I wanted it. In that moment I forgot about relying on God for my every need. My kids weren't helping either. They saw the 2 entertainment systems and electric running boards and they were almost on their knees begging me to get this truck. The salesman didn't have to do anything. He just sit back and let me slide further into Satan's clutches. I regained a little sense...for a minute. I said a little prayer asking God that if He didn't want me to have this truck, then let the final figures not be where hubby wanted them. They weren't. But I didn't listen. I was ready to walk and the salesman told me to call my husband and see what he thought. Hubby said that when he was figuring the final price, he didn't take into account tax, tag and title so the final figures were ok to him. I got the truck. And ever since then, I have had this nagging feeling that I failed yet another one of God's tests. I have done so well these last 10 years, denying myself those things that spoil me. Being completely broke helped in that arena a lot because it is hard to buy yourself anything when there is no money to purchase it to begin with. God has slowly allowed us to get back on track with our finances over the last few years and this is how I act? It's like I haven't learned a thing! I am so dissapointed in myself. I didn't rely on God and the guilt is eating me up inside. I can't give the truck back. I sure as heck can't sell it because I owe too much. So I am stuck. I really do love the truck. I am just having a hard time enjoying it because I feel like I shouldn't have it. If only I had trusted God like my dogs trust me. Maybe He would have given me another truck, just as nice but much cheaper, if I had just listened and obeyed. I am no different from the Israelites in the bible. God gave them everything and asked for obedience in return and they just couldn't do it with any consistency. Thousands of years later and I am making the same exact mistakes they did! What is up with that????? I must do better. I am going to find my dogs and take more lessons from them because they have it all figured out!

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