Such a Loss...

I was going to post about something else today but, while I was on the internet, I came across a news story that has broken my heart. A father, who was accused in the disappearance of his wife, murdered his 2 little boys and committed suicide. Josh Powell hacked his precious babies with a hatchet and then set the house on fire. All 3 died of smoke inhalation so the boys were still alive while the house was burning. The whole story just turns my stomach. In case you are not familiar with this family, Josh and Susan Powell lived in Oregon with their 2 little boys, Charlie and Braden (I think that was their names. I can't bear to look at the article again to double check). Josh claims that he took his sons camping at midnight in the middle of a blizzard and, when he returned home, his wife was gone. Shortly after this happened, he up and moved his boys to Washington State to live with his father, denying any visitation of the boys with his wife's parents. Last fall, Josh's father gave an indecent interview claiming truly disgusting things about his daughter in law. A couple of weeks later, the father was arrested on child pornography charges and voyuerism. He also had nude pictures of his daughter in law taken without her knowing. This guy was a real creep. He claimed in his interview to have had sex with his daughter in law because ," Hey, she was attractive." His DAUGHTER IN LAW!!!!! Anyway, Susan's parents requested custody of the boys and were granted custody of them soon after. Josh had supervised visitation with the boys and that is when the unimaginable happened. The person supervising the visit pulled up to the house and the boys ran ahead of her to the door. Josh let them in then closed the door to the supervisor. He refused to let her in and she called her supervisor saying that she smelled gasoline. Inside the house, Josh used a hatchet on his boys necks and then set the house on fire, killing all 3 of them. I am having such a hard time NOT being glad that Josh is dead. I know, he was one of God's children and He loved him every bit as much as He loves me but still, I struggle having any sympathy. My sympathy lies with the family left behind and the 2 little boys who must have known at some point that daddy was killing them. I cannot even put into words the agony, as a mother, this makes my heart feel. I don't know why this story affects me this way. I don't know this family. I have never had a tragedy like this in my life. But something about it just hurts me. Susan's parents said that they are sure their daughter is dead (her body has never been found) and that their grandsons are now safe in her arms again but how do you recover from this? I have been talking to God a bit today about it. Unfortunately, our conversations are so one sided. I am sure He will reveal something to me but for now I just pray that those left behind can find some comfort peace.